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The Scams of Spock and Dracs
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This was previously on Ann's
Page
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A few of the
tricks The Boys have been up to behind my back.
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Anyone with a Siamese cat or two never
knows what to expect from them next. But even I was staggered
when I discovered the extent of The Boys' online exploits. In
their quest to get as much cold roast chicken as they can, not
only did they hijack the last Ann's Page, but it seems they've
also been actively seeking Message Boards around the Internet
to advertise their many services.
Note their faces well and
do not be taken in if you see this message from them.
As everyone who visits
the Catsup website knows, Ann coldheartedly
and malevolently takes all the money we make
from our online shop and gives it to charity.
She leaves us nothing. Not a single brass farthing!
How she thinks we can keep body and soul together
on what she feeds us, we have no idea. Not to
mention bankrolling Spock's catnip toy habit
and Dracs' heating bills.
Surfing around at night,
we've met a lot of other cats (and some humans
too), on Message Boards and Forums. We've realised
that their needs are simply not being met either.
They desperately need help and we are the very
pair to provide it. So, in a spirit of true
compassion and altruism, we've put our heads
together and provided a few solutions.
Trust us!
We Live
to Serve
(Our fees are
very reasonable.)
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I feel it is my public duty to warn innocent
surfers that, if they see any of the following adverts anywhere
online, they should beware.
Do not, under any circumstances,
let yourselves be talked into one of their deals.
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It all began very
innocently when one of the cats they met online asked
them to help him prove his innocence to his unbelieving
owners, who callously (according to the cat), accused
him of theft. With a combined total of more than 38 years
experience of talking their way out of impossible situations,
The Boys immediately offered to help.
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Not content with that, they even
offered to do some investigative work to find the true
culprit.
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It didn't take long for them
to realise that they had stumbled onto a potental goldmine
and the scams came thick and fast from that moment on.
Although (touch wood), there's
never been a flame war on the Catsup
Message Board, The
Boys were quick to offer some law and order on other
Boards they came across.
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They found a lot of Message Boards
had sections for Health questions and were quick to
cash in.
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Then they went one further............
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They couldn't understand why
there were so few takers for their health and beauty
experience, even though they'd offered to perform all
the treatments with their own claws. Sorry I meant paws.
They found this especially disappointing as, in anticipation
of lots of hungry guests in need of a quick pick me
up after a few days on The Boys strict regime, they'd
also set up...........
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................their very own
bar. They'd heard that lots of health club guests cheat,
by escaping to the nearest pub for an illicit evening
wining and dining, so they thought they might as well
capitalise on it.
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After the health
and beauty experience turned out not to be such a winner
after all, the pair of them reverted to a less exotic
scam for a while.
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When one unsuspecting correspondent
asked if they included window cleaning they told her
that, if a window was curtained, it would be no problem.
If it had blinds however, they could only wash the bottom
24 inches. (Think about it!)
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Being cleaners didn't last very
long as it encroached too much on their 22 hours sleep
a day. So when a large hole appeared in front of my
house one day, they were quick to pounce on it as a
perfect opportunity.
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To their utter disgust, shortly
after they'd floated their advert over the Internet,
the Local Authority had the temerity to plant a street
lamp in the hole and then fill it back up, so another
surefire winner bit the dust.
Their fascination with
screws, nails and wires led them to think that
a paw in the door of the DIY market would be
no bad thing.
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They added welding to
their CVs when there was talk of stopping one
of their feline Message Board members from lying
on the top of a warm scanner by putting it behind
a cast iron door with a mortice lock.
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They excelled themselves one
Christmas when the following advert popped up on Message
Boards around the world.
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You'd think at the ripe old age
of 19, Spock and Dracs would be content to lie back
and take it easy, but their quest for extra chicken
still goes on. Wander past my house on a sunny afternoon
and you might just see the following
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That old scam "Chase the
Lady" is still going strong, except in this instance
it's been renamed "Chase the Chicken". With
Spock manipulating the cups and Dracs acting as his
innocent stooge (and no one can better Dracs when it
comes to looking innocent), they see themselves becoming
chicken millionaires in no time at all.
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YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
It is also entirely possible that The
Boys have other scams, which I've not yet discovered. If you
are in any doubt, check the payment details. If the currency
quoted is in cold roast chickens, or cold roast pheasants, then
take it from me, Spock and Dracs will be behind it.
Some of these pictures are now available
as free e cards.
Click HERE
to see them and many more.
You can never be sure what you'll
find on Ann's Page. It changes approximately every 8 weeks
or so and it's completely different each time. If you'd
like to see what was previously on Ann's Page, click on
one of the links below, or go to our
Archives
If you'd like to know when Ann's
Page changes, please feel free to join our mailing list.
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Copyright
© Ann Dickinson 2005
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