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Gyp can keep his trees, this is plenty high enough for me.

Gyp can keep his trees, this is plenty high enough for me.


Gyp and Tim
Episode 7 - Scary Story


I just want to say, before you start reading, that the comments about my size are grossly exaggerated.

And anything less than complimentary about me, should be taken with a large pinch of salt too.
I just want to say, before you start reading, that the comments about my size are grossly exaggerated.
And anything less than complimentary about me should be taken with a large pinch of salt too.
Gypsy In response to the fan letter that flooded in, time for another episode in our life.
Tim I still think that was from Stanley Cat.
Gypsy The black and white one who lives just down the road?
Tim That's the one, he wants a part in Star Cats - The Movie. This episode is more
of a horror story than previous tales. We see the staff's dark side. Let's start at
the very beginning.
Gypsy A very good place to start, sounds like a cue for a meoooooow.
Tim Please do not, but your singing is a good lead into horror. I suppose it started
just after Christmas. We gave our approval for John to send the previous
episode to Ann. I like the captions she puts on our pictures.
Gypsy First the Christmas decorations were taken down. Nothing to do with us I must
add, staff did that. I was becoming used to them. Then one morning, John got
up, opened the patio door to let us into the garden, while he got our breakfast
ready. Nothing unusual there, I went upstairs to make sure Thelma was awake.
A cheery meow, and a cat jumping from the bed-room door always works.
Tim I stayed down-stairs looking out of the door, until John closed it. I ate breakfast,
then went up for my morning grooming, it does make my fur shine.
Gypsy As I went down to breakfast, John came into the bed-room.
Tim Thelma went downstairs, Madeleine got up, but I could not find John, until I
looked in the bed. There he was, then Thelma said something about flu virus.
When the staff are ill, a cat's duty is clear. Stay with them. So we did, for two
days, apart from trips to the food bowl. Only one cat at a time left his post, the
other snuggled down in the duvet, next to John.
Gypsy Usually both of us were there, it was nice and warm. Then Madeleine caught the
bug, and stayed home from school. I went to her room, while you stayed with
Tim Next day John was well enough to get up, and Thelma was ill, as well as
Madeleine. This went on for over a week, quite exhausting for us cats.
Gypsy John lit a fire downstairs, and the others came down after a day or two.
Tim The fire was nice. I spent quite a lot of time sleeping in front of it.
Gypsy Madeleine went back to school, and Thelma got better, so we resumed normal
duties. Pretty much the same as sick patrol, except we had the beds to


Staff Notice: The boys prefer separate rooms for their daytime siesta, although they sometimes share.


Tim A few weeks later the horror began. A stormy morning in March, clouds
gathered in the sky, rain lashed down, the wind howled, it was dark. Can we
have some spooky music?
Gypsy You watch the X-files too often. There was slight rain. At first John let us out
into the garden for a stroll, while he got our breakfast ready. He is still too slow,
but improving. We soon came in from the garden, and the door was closed
behind us.
Tim Normal behaviour, humans don't seem to like cold winds. After my first
breakfast I went upstairs for my morning grooming.
Gypsy I went to make sure Thelma was awake. When I went back down-stairs, the
door was shut. John did not seem to understand when I asked him to open it. I
went to the kibble dish to feed. This behaviour pattern can mean they are going
away. I wondered if something was going to happen, and V, Vuh, Vuh - You-
Know-Who was coming.
Tim Voldemort?
Gypsy No dog-brain, VET.
Tim The trouble is humans are inconsistent and devious.
Gypsy Several weeks earlier two small cages had appeared in one of the bed-rooms.
Treats were sometimes in them. Their doors were always open. I used to go
inside, they were very comfortable.
Tim However, that morning when I wandered into the hall I saw a cage there. I also
saw John and Thelma moving towards me. I fled. John grabbed me, but with an
acrobatic twist I was away.
Gypsy Acrobatic twist, my feeding bowl, you scratched John's hand, and he dropped
you. I watched as you were chased from room to room, until you were trapped
in the kitchen.
Tim The cage was quite comfortable, when you became used to it. John understood
about the claw marks on his arm, he only lost a little blood, for a human. You
went in your cage without a fuss.
Gypsy Cat treats were provided. Next, both cages were carried into John's car.
Tim Thelma drove. John sat in the back with me. You were on the front seat next to
  Thelma. They kept talking to us, and we kept talking back.
Gypsy This was the first time we had been in a car since we arrived. We kept asking to
  go home for the entire journey.
Tim The car stopped, and we were carried into a big house. There were several
  other cats, and some dogs, and lots of strange smells. I knew instantly, we were
  at THE VETS!!!!!
Gypsy We sat in our cages for a while, Thelma and John talked to us, and we kept
talking back.
Tim Then the door flew open, and this gigantic figure dressed all in black leapt into
  the room. He had mad staring eyes, a long scaly tail, and carried a big knife. He
cackled insanely.
Gypsy Tim!
Tim OK, perhaps we can use it in a dream sequence in the film. Actually a nice
  young lady in a white coat asked Thelma and John to take us into another room.
Gypsy That's more truthful. They put my cage on a weighing machine, then took me out
of the cage, and weighed the cage. I was jabbed in the back of the neck, and
  put back in my cage.
Tim Same thing happened to me, and the vet looked at my teeth.
Gypsy They said your teeth were covered in tartar, and you would need special food to
  clean them.
Tim They said you were overweight, and had to go on a diet. Then Thelma and John
  carried us back to the car.
Gypsy We knew we were heading home, so we stopped talking.
Tim A few days later, just when we thought things were back to normal, I was
grabbed, and a worming tablet pushed into my mouth. The cunning humans had
wrapped me in a blanket, so I could not get revenge. Those tablets dissolve
  once they are in your mouth, and taste horrible.
Gypsy You're complaining! Because I am "allegedly" a few ounces heavier than my
  guide weight, I had two tablets.


Staff Notice: About 5 pounds over weight. Cat treats are no more for Gyps, except on rare occasions.


Tim I am exactly the correct weight.
Gypsy With or without the tartar?
Tim Be careful not to bite your lip, you would poison yourself, brother dear. Now,
  the comedy.
Gypsy The next morning I was in the garden, when a bird flew rather close, so I chased
it. It flew over the hedge, I ran up a tree next to the hedge.
Tim Thelma called to John to look at the tree. There you were, half-way up the tree,
  wandering out on a fairly thin branch. John went to get a ladder. It was too
Gypsy I looked down and could see John several feet below. I wanted to say, "Go and
  get a longer ladder, I'm not jumping all that way".
Tim What came out was "Meeeeeeeeeeeeew". John got a longer ladder anyway. It
  was just long enough for him to get a hold of you.
Gypsy My tail was what he got a hold of, but then he put an arm around my body.
  I was scared, it was a long way down to the ground. I did not want to let go of
  the tree, but finally he pulled my front paws off it, and I sat in his arms while he
  carried me back to earth. So much for the diet, once down I got lots of cat
Tim Next episode, the story of your diet, Every Dawn I Diet, Gypsy and the Giant
  Hamster Wheel perhaps, Not Fade Away, or Guess Who's Not Coming To
Gypsy Because of your teeth, Separate Feeding Bowls, Jaws, or The Curse Of
Dracula, (no offence meant Dracs), might be more appropriate.
Tim At least, Ann has space for one more story before she has to redesign the title-
page of the web-site.
Gypsy You are all heart, Timmy, say goodnight.
Tim I'm off for some special food.
Gypsy Please send food parcels. I'm wasting away.


Tim relaxes in the sunshine
Gypsy makes himself comfortabl in the border.
Tim relaxes in the sunshine
Gypsy makes himself comfortable in the border.