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<font color="#993300">Gyp prefers the facilities the staff provide

Gyp prefers the facilities the staff provide inside the house.



































The new gate

The new gate



Gypsy demonstrates how to use the new gate

Gypsy demonstrates how to use it.




































































What do you mean you want a shower?

Gyp and Tim
Episode 11 - Grumpy Old Cats


Me? Grumpy? What are they talking about?!
John's gone too far this time Gyp!


The long wet summer of 2004 is drawing to an end in Southern England, where Gypsy and Timmy have spent the season relaxing. Gypsy prefers a comfortable bed in a south facing room, with windows open and curtains closed. Timmy, on the other hand, favours a nice bed of dry grass under a shrub in the garden, sheltered from the rain. At night they still like their individual armchairs in the lounge. Gypsy has been known to insist that the staff move out of his chair so he can settle down for the night as early as one oíclock in the afternoon.

Tim Iím not sure I like the title of this episode.
Gypsy Better have a word with the staff about the introduction. It looks very like the start
of the last chapter. We should have held out for an established author.
Tim Has it been a year since we last issued a fan letter? People will be thinking we have
writerís block.
Gypsy I donít mind being called grumpy, but OLD. Iíll have to speak loudly to the staff.


Staff Notice: The boys are now approaching their ninth birthdays, and as senior cat food is clearly labelled 8 years plus (7 years in some cases), the staff humbly suggest that the cap fits. We all agree about grumpy.


Tim Iíll speak to you later, after feeding time.


Staff Aside: In about 5 minutes then.


Gypsy You can be replaced. Once we felines crack how to open a can, humansí days are
numbered. Anyway I think Iím entitled to complain, my recliner was out in the
garden all summer, but the cushions were only on about three days.
Tim Enough of this bickering, get on with the story. We have a whole year to report.
Gypsy We could put it in with the staffís Christmas cards.
Tim No, Spock & Dracs want something to fill up their web-site.
Gypsy O.K. winter was good, I enjoy that time of year, and Iím looking forward to this


Staff notice: In anticipation of the coming of winter, Gypsy has moved into winter camp. He now sleeps all evening in HIS armchair, having spent the summer months sleeping on HIS settee.


Tim For about four months last winter, you only went out of the house twice a day to
use the toilet (Staff notice: Ė garden). During the rest of the time, you snored your
head off in front of the fire.
Gypsy Whatís wrong with that? You insist on going out in the rain, I notice once when it
snowed you came in rather fast. I still canít get the staff to hold an umbrella over me
when it is wet outside. Still Thelma did dig a nice new toilet area near the back
door, and then spoilt it by planting flowers.
Tim You did not get her vote for the ďCat Of The WeekĒ awards after that.
Gypsy I thought it was for my benefit. My monthly trips to the V-E-T stopped, as I said in
my last newsletter, I was taken off the diet.
Tim And?
Gypsy My weight stayed roughly the same.
Tim Thatís not what Thelma said when you jumped on her the other morning.
Gypsy Bad take-off, any cat can have an off-day. I do miss the sing-songs in the car as I
went to the V-E-Tís surgery though.


Staff notice: The trip to the Vetís takes about 20-25 minutes by car, mainly along country lanes to the surgery on the edge of town. When both boys go for their annual jabs, the noise approaches the human threshold of pain.


Tim It was nice to have you out of the house for a while, and as you always got treats
on your return, I used to hang around and get some too.
Gypsy Towards the end, I was just getting the right note that could cause the car windows
to vibrate. I use that now when my food bowl is empty, usually brings the staff


Staff notice: As the boys were once on separate diets they are used to feeding in separate rooms. Gypsy prefers dry food, while Timmy likes moist. They will eat their brotherís if the opportunity presents itself however.


Tim The really big complaint is when they give us worming tablets.
Gypsy Donít mention worming tablets. Iím an easy going cat, but them I hate, and for
some reason I get two at a time and you one.
Tim Your weight is why you get two tablets, big fat cat, extra medicine.
Gypsy They usually grab you first; when I see the blanket come out, I know we are in the
trouble. Then there is chase round the house, followed by several attempts to put
tablet down your throat, and then itís my turn.
Tim The staff are getting clever, Iím now led towards my food bowl in the utility room,
when I go into the kitchen all the doors shut, Iíve nowhere to hide. Twice theyíve
done that now. Afterwards I get fed. The food has changed as well.
Gypsy Food is food.
Tim I always used to get that nice tinned stuff, with a little bowl of dry stuff alongside, in
case you came past & were too faint from hunger to reach your room. Now it
comes in sachets.


Staff notice: Senior wet food does not appear to come in cans, at least not in the brands our gourmet pets will eat. However there are sachets and foil trays. Our previous cats, who developed arthritis, improved a lot when they went onto senior food. As both Gyp & Tim look a bit stiff legged at times we thought prevention is better than cure. So far their fur is much improved, and their food bill increased.


Gypsy Iíve seen my regular food mixed with senior food for some time now. I naturally
thought it referred to my status, not my age. As long as there is plenty of it I donít
Tim I found chewy treats where I used to find my usual treats. My teeth are fine now.


Staff notice: Timmy gets a daily allowance of cat treats left in roughly the same place, a large multi-level scratching post, but they are hidden around it. These have now been substituted, at times, for special teeth cleaning treats.


Gypsy Most undignified, climbing all over a post looking for sweets.
Tim Just because you are too fat to get up there.
Gypsy Iíve been on the house roof remember.
Tim Not recently.
Gypsy The staff will keep changing the house as well. They had a new gate put in at the
side of the house, next to where the D-O-G lives. That was actually an
improvement, the old gate was wooden and we had to crawl under it, or climb over
the top. The new one has a cat door-way in the side, in the shape of a catís head,
and big enough for me to get through.
Tim The local farmerís sheep wonít have any trouble either if you can get through. What
I object to are the changes in feeding times. It is bad enough that twice a year the
staff move feeding times forwards or backwards one hour. No consultation, no
discussion, suddenly we eat an hour earlier or later. I donít mind when itís earlier,
but later is not on.


Staff Comment: Blame it on the E.U. They say the clocks have to change.


Gypsy Once their kitten finished what she calls exams, breakfast started getting later, and
  later. It was nearly three hours late some days. Even my singing could not move
  them. Then suddenly a few weeks ago it became very early, I was still asleep when
  John came down and started getting breakfast.
Tim So was I. I was so shocked I did not go upstairs for my morning grooming for
  some time.


Staff notice: After our daughter finished her GCSE exams she did not have to go back to school, and as her part-time job did not start until mid-day, the staff took the opportunity to have a lie in. Once she started at college it meant an even earlier start than when she went to school. Two very sleepy cats could not understand what was happening at first.


Gypsy I need my twenty-two hours sleep or Iím a complete wreck the next day.
Tim No comment.
Gypsy Say Goodnight Timmy.
Tim Goodnight Timmy.
Gypsy Goodnight Folks.


Have you seen what's on the lawn Gyp? Spock and Dracs will never believe us.
John, Thelma, Maddie, come quickly, our dinner's in the garden!


Tim in the garden
Gypsy on the settee
Gypsy in the garden
Tim relaxing on the carpet
Making the most of the summer weather
Unfortunately there wasn't much of it in 2004!



Episode 12 - Timmy Cat's Smile

There'd better be a good reason for waking me up!


Oh well, now I'm up, I might as well have a quick wash.


Did somebody call?


The long dry winter of 2004/5 is drawing to an end in Southern England, where Gypsy and Timmy have spent the season relaxing. Gypsy prefersÖ..


Tim Hold it, hold it. We said in episode 11, the introductions were getting boring; this
  is more of the same. It is also almost high summer; Gypsy is on his recliner in the
  garden most days now.


Staff: I told you if you wanted great literature go and live with an author.


I donít think many of them called round when we were looking for a new home.
  Weíll have to put up with you. This story stars Timmy rather than me, so you
  should have made a few changes.


Staff: The title is different, a pun about a CD rather than a film.


Thatís the one you have been playing since Christmas. The kitten is getting very
  fed up with it. I like it.


Staff: You are being polite; it must be close to feeding time!!


Gypsy It is always close to feeding time. Now Timmy, letís hear all about your adventure
Tim First I think we should tell our fan about what else has been going on at Timmy
Gypsy Chateau Gypsy, you mean. Well we had an excellent autumn, winter, and early
  spring, as the staff had to get up very early to get the kitten off to college, which
  meant we got breakfast really early as well. Some days in the middle of winter, we
  had had breakfast, been groomed, gone out for the daily patrol, had our second
  breakfasts, and were back asleep before dawn.
Tim Makes the days just slip by. The staff were a bit grumpy most mornings, and then
  they had the cheek to be late getting up at the weekend. We frequently had to
  organize community singing to wake them up.


Staff Comment: There is no snooze button on a cat that wants its breakfast.


Gypsy The time they call Christmas was especially tedious. I lay on the settee all one day.
Tim Just one day? I thought it was every day.
Gypsy Iíd not finished. Iíve since moved to my spring quarters, the smaller armchair. On
  this particular day, the staff spent a lot of time, climbing up and down ladders
  pinning coloured bits of paper and metal to the ceiling.
Tim Then they produced lots of balloons, I tried playing with one. What a noise, I
  wonít do that again.
Gypsy About a month later, they spent another day taking them all down. It did provide
  considerable entertainment for me. Then they put all the bits in a box, which went
  up into the loft. That is where they came from at the start of the performance. One
  day I must go into the loft to see what is up there.
Tim One evening while the staff were eating a meal in front of the TV, rather than at the
  table, one of them put a bowl down on the floor.
Gypsy A catís primary duty is to investigate everything new or unusual. When the staff
  had their bathroom renovated a few months ago, the floor-boards were lifted. I
  was removed twice from there. Then they kept the door shut until the floor-boards
  were replaced, most unfair.
Tim Again this was my duty as I saw it. I went and had a look, a sniff, a lick, and
  discovered what the staff call ice cream. Very nice it is too. I cleaned up the bowl.
  Occasionally I get given some now.
Gypsy Iím not over fond of it myself.
Tim Thatís a first, you not liking food!!! A few weeks later, one of my teeth fell out.
Gypsy I warned you about eating sweet food, look what happens.


Staff Comment: Timmy has had a gum infection for some time, we had been trying to improve things by diet, but it did not seem to get any better. On the previous trip to the V-E-T, for their annual jabs, we were warned an operation might be needed. As the tooth fell out only a couple of weeks before the next annual jab, and Timmy seemed quite well, we left it until then.


Tim They kept my tooth in a plastic bag, I was expecting a big box of cat treats from the
  tooth fairy, but she never came.
Gypsy What we did get was our annual outing to the V-E-Ts. Now that they have stopped
  trying to put me on a diet, I quite like the trip, the sing-song on the way there is
  great fun. I do wish the staff would join in rather than turn the car radio up. I like
  Radio 2, but they play it very loud, just on that trip. On the way back it is much
Tim So are you.


Staff Comment: It is like a family outing, Timmy is in the front in his travel cage, while John drives, and Gypsy is in his travel cage in the back of the car with Thelma. Only the kitten is missing. The boys sing along to the records on the Terry Wogan show. Luckily it only takes about 20 to 25 minutes, although if Gypsy is in good voice we have got it down to 17 minutes.


Gypsy I have a fine voice, loud too.
Tim I know it has been heard over 200 miles away.
Gypsy That was over the phone. Anyway, back to the story. We went into the V-E-Tís
  surgery. This is a good V-E-T, cats have their own waiting room, we donít have to
  mix with dogs, and other non-feline pets. It was the same nice man I saw last year,
  I was checked over first, he said I was in fine condition, and only slightly over-
  weight, nothing to worry about.
Tim True, thatís what he said.


Staff Comment: Thatís what he said. Even Gypsy looked surprised.


Gypsy I was complimented on the fine condition of my fur. It was followed by a quick jab
  with a needle.
Tim Then you were shoved back in your cage, and out I came. He said my fur was
wonderful too. I got the jab as well, and then he started looking in my mouth. John
gave him my tooth. They then started muttering. I was put in my cage, and whisked
off into another room. My front leg was shaved, and a needle stuck in it. Then I
went back to join the others.


Staff Comment: Some of Timmyís teeth needed extracting, and he had gum infection we already knew about. This was his blood test.


Gypsy Then we went home.
Tim Not before the V-E-T suggested that the staff might care to try to brush my teeth.
Then he saw the look on my face, & dropped the idea.


Staff Comment: Staff not having skin made of titanium were not thrilled with the idea either.


Gypsy I like going home from the V-E-Tís surgery, we always get extra treats.
Tim A few days later there was no supper.
Gypsy Yes, I thought it was an oversight, and was going to speak quite firmly to the
catering staff the next morning, but worse, NO BREAKFAST.
Tim When I came in from my morning constitutional, still no breakfast, instead I was put
in my travelling cage. Off John & I went in the car.
Gypsy I was packing my bowls and blankets ready to leave, when I GOT BREAKFAST.
I was so pleased I forgot to complain about missing supper.
Tim We went back to the V-E-Ts. This time John left me. I called, but he did not reply.
Then, some fur was shaved off my chest, another jab with a needle, and I felt
sleepy. Next thing I remembered, I had a bit of a headache, but my jaw felt better.
Thelma arrived and took me home. I was a bit sleepy. Brother Gypsy seemed
pleased to see me. I got special food for the next week, all my favourites.


Staff Comment: It was the only way we could get him to take antibiotics twice a day for a week. Timmy has had almost all of his teeth, except the little ones on his lower jaw, removed.


Tim Plus I can still hunt, and now Iím switching to dry food.


Staff Comment: Since the boys settled in, several years ago, Gypsy has chosen to eat dry food, while Timmy has eaten wet food. They are not averse to the other type if the bowl is nearer, but given a choice that is what they eat. Now Timmy is eating about equal quantities of both dry and wet food.


Gypsy Iím not happy about that, he has found my private dining room upstairs.


Staff Comment: See earlier episodes for details of the boys feeding areas.


Tim Have you ever noticed catering starts CAT?
Gypsy That should be my line.
Tim Say goodnight Gypsy.
Gypsy Goodnight Folks.
Tim Fans, my fur has grown back now.


Can I please get back to sleep now?!



What a palaver humans go through, just to get a wash! Cats are SO much smarter!